“Developing the plan is actually laying out the sequence of events that have to occur for you to achieve your goal.” ~ George L. Morrisey

Spartan Shape-Up, Day 76:

Well, today was a Run Day. It was a bit of a lackluster run day, to be honest... It was a nice brisk evening, with a cooling drizzle in the air - all things that should set up for a good run. Then I got stuck longer at the doctors (just a check up, no worries!) than anticipated, and by the time I got home it was already getting dark. I don't live in a booming metropolis. Street lights are rare and creepiness abounds. So, got my sneakers on as quickly as possible and headed out the door. I lost the light fast with the rain clouds and everything, so I made the *responsible* choice and cut my run a little shorter than usual. I figured some miles on the sneakers was better than no miles on the sneakers.

The (short) Run stats:
Time: 22.44 min
Distance: 2.0 mi.
Average Pace: 11:11 min/mi.

I, at least ran it at a relatively decent time for me. I'm feeling a bit 'stuck' on my runs, lately. I consistently run 3.25-3.5 miles, three times a week... and have been for weeks now. It is getting easier, in some senses, but I'm struggling to get over 4 mi. Running my customary distance, I still feel the need to walk here and there. I don't. But sometimes I do have to run real slow to re-gather myself, or un-cramp my calves, etc. I feel like I'm breathing well (I don't feel out of breath), but I seem to struggle having the gas in the tank to keep going. But, physically, I feel like I should be able to handle it, and realistically, probably can. I think I need a push. Something to just get me over that hump... I think I am too much in my head when I get running, because I have such a desire to master it, and I recognize that it may be my weakest point, at the moment. So, instead of just mastering it and getting it done, I start over thinking everything - how fast am I going, my breathing patterns, how far I've gone, how far I've got left to go... I swear, I get WAY too much in my head; today I was even analyzing the exact feelings in my right calf muscle (as it cramped and I ran...).  I need to do something to push me hard enough that I *can't* think those thoughts. That will shut up my brain, push me to get the job done and *poof* suddenly prove to my brain that I CAN run at least 4 miles, and that there is a new bar set. I'm thinking a buddy-run may be a good way to knock me out of this rut.

I've also had something else itching at the back of my head of late, that surfaced this evening... When I went to the doctor's, they weighed me. I don't dread this like I used to, because I'm proud of how far I have come (and the doctor even commented on this!). However, like the running, the weight is stuck at this one place. I'm toning and reshaping my body, I can see that in the mirror... but the scale is NOT moving. I still see the significant amount of ... *ahem*... not-muscle... that I'm carrying. That frustrates me. I'm busting my ass in my workouts, hanging onto a consistency and intensity that I've never had before... but I just can't seem to get that scale moving again.
I wouldn't care so much, knowing that I'm making progress in other areas, but I feel like the extra weight is holding me back from pushing forward in my training the way that I want to. It has to be true that the extra weight is making everything just that much more difficult for my body. Like the running, for example; how much more progress would I be making if I was carrying a bit less of me? *sigh*

The hardest fight is the one you have with yourself.

That said, rather than wallow in the impending negativity, I am choosing to make a plan. I'm not really sure what that plan should be at the moment, but I have some decent raw materials to work with - like my food log for the last few weeks. I have been doing that. I also have successfully lost 65#. In theory, that means I do actually know how to lose weight in some sort of healthy way. Why I haven't been accomplishing that, I'm not sure. I do know that this particular set-up of workouts makes me freaking HUNGRY - like for meat. lol. Like, you know when you're starving and your body is like "yeeahhhh, STEAK"... and a Salad really isn't in the cards? Which is where I'm getting hung-up I think. When I successfully lost my weight with Weight Watchers ("Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!"), I was able to eat a bit more rabbit-like, as I wasn't working out anywhere NEAR where I am now. What I was eating then (Translation: what I know how to eat to lose weight) will not work for my current self who requires a lot more protein and frequent snacks. Hmm. A difficult conundrum. I may have to seek out some knowledgeable advice on this topic.

And... there we go, BlogLand. I'm getting ready to tune into my weekly inspirational Spartan Radio, have some tea, chill and refresh my brain...